Divorce spells difficulty for the couple deciding to end their marriage, but it also causes chaos in the lives of the most important people in your life: your kids. While couples who divorce without children together can truly separate from one another without as much difficulty, those with kids are bound together in some capacity for the rest of their lives. As you separate from your partner, it can become difficult to navigate not only your feelings but those of your children as well. Keep reading to find out what kids need to cope with a divorce.
Talk About Their Feelings
Whether they are speaking directly with you and your (soon to be ex) partner or with the help of a family therapist, letting your children express their feelings helps them work through the array of emotions they’re experiencing as well as why their parents are splitting up. Many children tend to blame themselves for a divorce rather than understanding that sometimes couples drift apart. Take the time to let everyone explore their emotions through this difficult process together.
Stick to a Routine
Your children’s routines likely face drastic changes, so come up with a routine that incorporates some things of the past as well as changed elements. The key here is to stick to the routine you all come up with as much as possible, so your children have structure and the ability to plan their days just like they did before. If for some reason one parent is unavailable to help stick to a routine, look to include your children in the planning process to make up for that loss.
Amicable Joint Parenting
We know this isn’t going to work for everyone, but most divorced parents are able to come up with some sort of co-parenting plan that works. Whether children spend every other weekend with each parent or are picked up from school every day by the non-custodial parent, co-parenting requires dedication from both parties. If major decisions need to be made, both parents need to be involved in the decision-making process as well as to explain the reasoning for the divorce to the children. Additionally, It’s important not to allow your divorce to interfere with your ex-spouse’s relationship with your children. For example, when you have your kids, don’t consider it a free-for-all to bash the other parent or point out what you think the other parent does incorrectly. If you have legitimate concerns, leave your children out of the loop and discuss them privately with your former partner.
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Children need a lot of support during a divorce, and the above methods can make the transition much easier than it could otherwise be. Another method to make the divorce process easier? Ending your marriage through divorce mediation can be a beneficial alternative to traditional courtroom divorce proceedings. Contact a Denver divorce mediation specialist today to find out how mediation can make the divorce process easier on every member of your family.